Don't Pit On Yo Mama

Remember those family functions that lasted all day and included so many people that in some way or another were related to you, but you didn't know even one third of them? These events mostly occurred around holidays (or funerals), but there was always lots of food and lots of family.

It was at one of these shin-digs (I'm finding myself using these old lady words recently) that I found myself. I was holding my then six month old baby girl. Oh, I was so proud of Marixa and I was taking every precaution to be sure that she was well taken care of. I had AT LEAST 6 cute outfits in her diaper bag and I may have even squeezed in a few diapers (LOL). I had pacifiers, burp cloths, etc. etc. You name it - I had it in that diaper bag.

Anyway, one of Maya's very, very distant cousins was talking to her as I had her perched on my shoulder. At 6 months, MAYA was slobbering all over the place, but when it's YOUR baby, that's cute slob, so I had placed a cute little "burp cloth" on my shoulder to catch most of it.

What I didn't count on was her 4 year old little cousin's abrupt reaction to Maya's slobbering. When I knew anything, she hollered out "DON'T PIT ON YO MAMA" and promptly slapped my 6 month old baby! It wasn't a hard slap, but a slap none the less. (Cue slo mo) I was in shock, wondering how bad it would be for me to slap this 4 year old. As I sat there looking at this future prison warden, I realized that she was trying to do her best to help me out, but dang, it was still my 6 month old baby.

I decided to NOT slap this little girl, but I gave her a serious case of the stank eye. Word to the wise, keep your babies up high. Let them admire them from afar.

Fast forward, I really do think that the 4 year old in question, is currently working in the prison system. That chick had started her training 25 years ago. If she continued her "training" (as I think she might have), she is probably slapping those criminals straight into next week!