Can everybody have p-nuts?

By now, I should have learned this lesson, the one about asking more questions before I respond to Maya's inquiries. OK, truth is that this is an old story, but it's true and the subject matter came up recently and I laughed out loud, yeah, at my OWN story.

Many years ago, Maya very innocently asked me "Gigi, can ANYONE have p-nuts?" I thought, man, this is an easy one. Finally, I get a question that I can answer without fear of "over answering". Whew, I might have actually taken the back of my hand and wiped sweat off my brow (like they do in the movies, when they are in a tight spot).

If you have read my blog, or heard anything about Maya's questions, you understand the total relief I felt in getting what seemed to be -- an EASY question.

OK, back to the story, I confidently said to Maya, "yes, baby, ANYONE can have p-nuts". Not satisfied, Maya asked for clarity saying "girls AND boys?" At this point, I thought - Uh Uh (actually I thought about some language much worse than uh uh, but this is a family friendly blog)

At this point, I backtracked and asked for more information. I asked in the most super calm voice that I could summon -- "who told you about these p-nuts?" And here we go, down the rabbit hole. Maya says -- this girl told me that only boys have p-nuts and they keep them in their pants. Yeah, you know what I'm thinking -- Why is Paris Hilton or her 7 year old mini me, in Maya's summer camp?

Typically in my stories, I have multiple "freeze frame" moments, where I have to tell you what I'm thinking to keep you in the loop. I usually have those moments when I'm stumped, puzzled and straight out stunned. Dealing with Maya, I have LOTS of these freeze frame moments, like NOW. I'm wondering how I can steer this wild bronco of a conversation back into the barn. I know that it's not time to have "that talk" but how do I satisfy her curiousity without wrecking the car? I'm also wondering how I can duct tape the mouth of this little girl who knows way too much.

Now, that I can talk again, I clear my throat and say to Maya " You know, baby, there are words that sound alike and I kinda mixed up some words here. I thought you were asking about PEANUTS and that's why I said that anyone and everyone can have PEANUTS. But, ONLY boys can have a PENIS (p-nuts) and they should DEFINITELY keep it in their pants. Girls should not be talking about penis (peni as the plural?), because that's a private part. Just like boys shouldn't be talking about vaginas, cause that's a private part too.

I quickly steered the conversation (and the car) back onto the road and changed the subject to something safe, or at least I THINK so. We shall see....